13 min read

My Experience as an Unemployed

I actually can’t believe I have to write this. I’ve been unemployed for almost 4 months and I have to say despite having no money and no prospect of a job I am… truly happy. Let me explain.

Backstory

For years, I worked in law firms in the DC area mostly in an administrative role (reception). I have a bachelors degree in computer science with a pretty decent GPA (almost 3.4). I gained my degree while working in the administrative role I mentioned above. After I graduated from my university, I applied to several positions that were related to my degree but I couldn’t find any work in that field (believe me I KNOW that seems odd). I was fully in debt with my student loans and I couldn’t seem to find a job that would pay for the loans and my cost of living. In addition, I am a family caregiver to my mother, who while handicapped, is quite stubborn (a good thing trust me) and worked.

As time went on, my firm decided to give me a chance to help out in Marketing and they gave me a “slash” title (you’ll learn later that this… seems to be the story of my life). I worked and worked because I wanted to prove that I can do that job so that hopefully I can advance in the firm and maybe even move up to a marketing coordinator and beyond. When a role in marketing became available, I immediately applied. I had been getting excellent performance reviews for the 8 years I had been at the firm and two of those years, I had been working in marketing. My marketing supervisor interviewed me and selected a nice blonde lady for the job. I couldn’t help but resent her (the blonde lady) even though I knew it wasn’t her fault.

I started trying to look outside of the firm for marketing roles. A coworker referred me to a headhunter she frequently used, so I called the headhunter and made an appointment. When I was in front of the headhunter, I told her what I was looking for and she said, “Why do you want to do marketing, you’re a receptionist…” I feel like I took it in stride but honestly I wondered who the *guess the expletive* this lady… thought she was. When I left the headhunter’s office I started to question if perhaps all I’d ever be and all that employers (current or future) would ever see is a receptionist. It didn’t matter that I had good grades from college, that I’d worked for marketing for two years, it didn’t matter how smart I was or that I could put a computer together from scratch, or how friendly I portrayed myself… somehow I had been boxed into Reception with no apparent hope of getting out.

Nine years later, I was laid off from that law firm. They had merged with another larger law firm. I asked what their plan was for me and I basically got evasion. I even gave them an opportunity to tell me they likely wouldn’t need another receptionist… and they said “no no that’s not true you never know what’s going to happen.” What happened you asked? Well right down to the final month, they determined that they didn’t need another receptionist nor an additional marketing person. It was the first time I was unemployed, but it was the second time I learned to distrust anything that comes out of upper management’s mouth.

Three months later, I was referred to a position at another law firm and I got the job. I spent six years there. I started as a receptionist and let them know that I was interested in advancement. They paired me up with a woman that worked in marketing but I didn’t receive an official title I was just helping the department out. Things didn’t work out with her mostly because she told my office administrator that she felt I didn’t want to do marketing. By the way, did I mention that she had never outright asked me (you know the adult who can answer for herself) if I liked marketing or not? That woman went on to become a manager of marketing for the east coast while I… was still stuck in reception. I started to realized that either something was fundamentally wrong with me or something wasn’t quite right.

By year three at this firm, the Chief Recruiting Officer (CRO) asked my supervisor if I could help her team. For a year while the world hunkered down due to Covid, I helped recruiting and then they offered me… a ‘slash’ title. I cannot express how great this woman (the CRO) was. She saw a person, saw my potential and she gave me a chance to prove myself. For two more years, I worked as a receptionist and recruiting person with the firm. In that role I excelled and my performance excelled. I was consistently exceeding expectations which is the highest you could get. When the CRO resigned from the firm, it was rather unexpected for the team but honestly I understood. For her, “work/life balance” wasn’t a thing. She was constantly being called by the CEO and frankly I don’t believe she could have a piece of mind if she tried.

I started asking when I would/could be brought fully to recruiting and for months I couldn’t get answers. Finally, I was told that when they hired a new CRO they would leave that decision to them. As you can guess, the new CRO came and she told me that she “wasn’t sure if she could take employees from other departments.” *side eye* The question for me became, but I’m in recruiting aren’t I? How would she be taking me from another department… for two months I heard this from the new CRO before I’d had enough. One of my coworkers had left the firm to join another firm in an advanced role and she referred me to be a recruiting assistant. I leapt at the chance. Again hopeful that I could prove myself and advance in the career.

Wh… What the *BLEEP* Just Happened?!

I started my new role at the new firm and for two weeks things were pretty good. I felt that I could grow in the role. Things were going great… until they hired a new manager in recruiting. I immediately started looking for another job. To say that this manager was a nightmare might just be putting in mildly. Honestly, I couldn’t quite articulate what working for the new senior manager was like, until recently when I listened to a podcast called Career Confidence hosted by Sisterhood Club. The podcast entitled, “Is Your Boss or Colleague a Psychopath? 1 of 20 are Psychopaths!” is a MUST listen. In fact, the entire podcast is quite beneficial for those of us who are trying to reenter the workforce but need tips on job hunting and interviewing. Anyway, after three weeks of being employed at that law firm, I started looking for another job. One of the other managers, whom I absolutely adore for her brilliance and honesty, put in her two weeks notice in my forth week. I was devastated.

The new senior manager (and possible psychopath?) had worked with the director at their old firm but they claimed they didn’t really know each other. When the new manager started I truly, truly tried to give the woman a chance but she was awful. She treated everyone under her so disrespectfully. She micromanaged everything from sending emails to anything administrative. If it didn’t involve putting herself in front of someone with some authority or a higher up she was NOT interested. In addition, she was abusive and a bully to, not only myself, but other team members as well.

When I went to my supervisor (the one that had brought her in), I was told verbatim that they “didn’t hire her for her sparkling personality.” I realized that this person might lack objectivity as it relates to the new manager and it also confirmed to me that they knew each other more than they let on. For months, I had to deal with this person. I frequently spoke to the coworker who had referred me and she was having issues with the new manager too. So I went to HR about it. Let me be the first person to tell you… HR is like a bad psychiatrist. They will listen to your complaints pretend that they understand, that they will address the issue and send you on your way. Then they will put in their notes that you are manic and prescribe you drugs that will damn near kill you.

After my chat with HR, I suddenly found myself having to create a task list of everything I was currently working on every single morning for months. One day, the manager had worked my very last nerve so I gave her what she asked for told her to have a good day and worked on my other responsibilities for the next hour until it was time for me to clock out. Well that manager did NOT like being ignored. Suddenly, I got an email from my supervisor telling me that I had to be at my desk during my designated time unless it was for lunch and that I could not just “clock out and leave for the day.” I told the supervisor that I was at my desk working on other things but that didn’t fit their narrative apparently.

So three months after I went to HR I was terminated with severance. When I asked why I was being terminated, they told me it was because of my performance… *heavy side eye* At no time did I receive a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP) nor did they say that my performance was lacking in any of the many meetings I was having with them. In fact, they gave me a bonus at the beginning of the year telling me that I couldn’t get the full bonus of course because I hadn’t been there a full year. In the timeframe they gave me to sign the severance, I actively tried to find a lawyer that would be willing to work on contingency because I knew that I had a winning case but I didn’t have retainer money.

Legal aide didn’t handle employment issues and I had gone to EEOC per several recommendations from friends, family and colleagues, for EEOC to tell me that it didn’t sound like discrimination but more so work issues and a personality conflict. They said that I would bare the burden of proof in claiming discrimination against them. The severance, had all the bells and whistles. Don’t talk bad about us. Don’t talk about what you did here. Don’t sue us for discrimination… Because I couldn’t find a lawyer to help me out and because I am poor, I took the severance.

*sigh of relief* Thank God

That night after I was terminated I went to sleep and slept through the night which I hadn’t been able to do for months. When I woke up, I was refreshed and ready to start applying for jobs. You see, working at that place was really affecting my health. My blood pressure was high, I could hear my heartbeat in my ears, I constantly got headaches and if that’s not enough I even fainted in the metro. Basically, I think being fired from there just might have saved my life.

With that said, for four months I’ve been applying for jobs. At first, I listed the dysfunctional law firm on my resume and I’d been getting first interviews pretty regularly. As time went on, I realized that every potential employer asked me about why I was no longer at the other firm. I never said anything bad about the firm but I never heard from the company I interviewed with again. I recently removed the firm completely from my resume and now… I don’t even get interviews. So I’m not sure how one is supposed to get work but I can tell you whatever I’m doing isn’t working. Yet, I’m still relieved that I don’t have to deal with my former manager. My hair has started growing again. I’ve lost 26 lbs. and I’ve not changed a single eating habit and I just… feel better.

And Now…

I’m still in touch with the person that referred me for the position in the beginning of all this. I had told her in real-time the issues I had been going through under the manager so I thought she’d take heed. Turns out she’s now going through the same thing now and I KNOW she’s a good worker too. It really makes me wonder how long a company can continuously abuse its staff and protect the bullying and abusive manager before someone can post about the situation. I almost wish that someone who didn’t get wrapped up in that severance could come forward to warn people.

The colleague that referred me to the job has left the law firm without another job to go to. Turns out, her health was failing to. She told me in one of our talks, that her blood pressure was so high that she felt like she was on the verge of a stroke.